07/08/2020, 17:46
Fandom: iZombie
Summary: Blaine is afraid of what will happen once he regains his memories. Luckily, he finds out he's not as alone as he might think. Set post-3x03 and probably AU after that episode. The title and the lyrics were taken from "Long long time" by Linda Ronstadt, the song Blaine sings at the end of the episode.
Words: 1246
Liv had appeared next to his small stage, and Blaine shot a quick glance in the direction of the bar, only to see that Peyton was trying to drink the man who apparently shared his previous fate under the table. “I’m not a particularly brave person, but everything for science, right?” He fixed his eyes on the piano with a lopsided smile, and let his fingers glide over the keys. He was glad that while he didn’t remember a thing about his life, he still had this. Even just sitting behind a piano gave him a feeling of familiarity he missed with so many other mundane activities. He wouldn’t ever admit it to his zombie friend, if Liv could ever be qualified as such, but he had been lost on how to run his own business, how to use his own computer and his phone. He didn’t have any passwords, and with Don E sent away… He sighed. He figured it out, but it hadn’t been easy going through life completely blank. He liked his blank slate, surely, but it came with its drawbacks.
“Right…” The man’s eyes seemed to be lost in the song he was playing, and she could help but feel something tug at her heartstrings. Every time she saw him like this – vulnerable and almost normal – it became harder to remember who he really was. Blaine DeBeers was a murderer, a criminal. He had ruined not only her life, but the lives of countless people. He had tortured Major, almost killed him. He had done nothing to deserve her kindness. And yet… the man sitting beside her was a far cry from the self-serving, confident Blaine she had known. The Blaine who would never have taken the risk of dying, not for any money in the world, and certainly not because Ravi told him it was the right thing to do. Moreover, the Blaine she knew would want to remember.
“Is there anything you would want me to play?”
“What?”
“That is the question.” His eyes caught hers for a brief second, before he once again channelled his full attention to the sheet music in front of him. “Caught in my fears / Blinking back the tears / I can’t say you hurt me when you never let me near / And I never drew one response from you.” He allowed himself to stare at the beautiful woman at the bar once again, and he felt guilty for feeling angry. It wasn’t her fault that they happened to have a crappy night on the same day, but he could use her comfort now. Her hand on his shoulder. Her voice in his ears, telling him that he had a chance to start over, that what he did wouldn’t have to define him if he didn’t let it. He knew Peyton was wrong, of course. What he did would define him. He was a bloody murderer, and that wasn’t a coat he could just shake off and forget about, even if he had truly forgotten. No, in a couple of days it would perhaps have returned completely, and he would return to his murder and mayhem self. Wouldn’t Ravi just love that? Without granting the woman next to him another word, he got up and grabbed his coat, heading for the back door.
“Blaine! Blaine, wait!”
“What?”
His mouth was drawn in a snarl, and the man in front of her reminded her of the old Blain, of his anger. But as soon as the memory came, it disappeared. Blaine’s features softened, and if she didn’t know any better she’d think she heard him mutter an apology. “What are you running from?” If the situation was normal, this was where she’d make a joke. Something about his skeletons finally escaping from the closet to come and get him. But it wasn’t a normal situation, and Blaine appeared to be in genuine distress.
“I’m afraid, Liv…” he whispered. He closed his eyes and felt a cold hand on his shoulder, one that was all the same reassuring.
“Of what exactly? Remembering? Dying?”
He didn’t answer her question. She knew already. “I just don’t want to be alone when it happens. When I… Who knows what I’ll do?” A hint of panic coloured his voice.
Liv shook the man lightly. “Hey, there’s an easy way to fix that.” A soft smile played across her lips.
Blaine looked at her expectantly. He hoped, but she couldn’t possibly –
“I’ll stay with you tonight,” she said, her hand not wavering from his shoulder. “Lead the way.”
He chuckled, not willing to admit just how relieved he was. “It’s only a couple of minutes away.” As they walked, he let his hand slip into hers, and she didn’t pull away. He allowed himself to revel in the fact that there was at least someone who cared about him, even if it was not Don E, even if it was not his father. He could have friends in this world, and if maybe if he made up for his sins, if he worked hard enough… maybe this could be a first step.
“You have a great cd collection.” They were inside his apartment, and Liv was appreciating Chris Cornell’s glorious voice.
“Just you wait ‘til I show you all my vinyls.”
“Do you remember which music you liked before, or is that also gone? Did you just rediscover it through” – she gestured widely – “all this.”
Blaine shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess. I’d hear something and I’d remember liking it, but not why I liked it, or when I started liking it. I don’t think this was my prom song, though.”
“I can’t picture you going to prom at all.”
He handed Liv her drink and sat down on the couch, laying his head back against the pillows. “I don’t know what to picture at all anymore. If I should believe my father, I was a lying thief by the time I was eleven. I figure prom wouldn’t have been high on such a kid’s agenda.”
Liv sat down next to him, her eyes fixed on him while he stared at the carpet as if those fibres were hiding all the answers. “As far as I’ve understood, your dad is a bit of an asshole. You were eleven – just exactly how malicious could you have been at that age.”
Blaine buried his head in his hands. “I don’t know, Liv. I honestly don’t know. The guy murdering teenagers for money, for kicks? Couldn’t he have been a very malicious eleven-year-old.”
Liv’s complexion darkened a little, but she didn’t answer.
Then Blaine laughed. “I don’t know a lot, but I don’t think I’d ever have envisioned inviting you over anything like this.”
Her eyebrow shot up. “So you remember imagining inviting me over? Don’t get any ideas, DeBeers.”
He smiled, and let their legs rest against each other. “Thank you, Liv.”
There was no need to tell her what he was grateful for, and she gave his knee a soft push with hers. “That’s okay. You’re kind of part of Team Z too.” She bit her lip. “And hey, you may have been a malicious eleven-year-old for all I care, but at least you don’t own a bust of yourself.”
“You mean that –”
“Yep.” As she heard his innocent laughter and saw his relaxed features, she thought that maybe, just maybe, he would be okay.
Summary: Blaine is afraid of what will happen once he regains his memories. Luckily, he finds out he's not as alone as he might think. Set post-3x03 and probably AU after that episode. The title and the lyrics were taken from "Long long time" by Linda Ronstadt, the song Blaine sings at the end of the episode.
Words: 1246
Love Will Abide / Take Things in Stride
“That was a brave thing to do, you know.”Liv had appeared next to his small stage, and Blaine shot a quick glance in the direction of the bar, only to see that Peyton was trying to drink the man who apparently shared his previous fate under the table. “I’m not a particularly brave person, but everything for science, right?” He fixed his eyes on the piano with a lopsided smile, and let his fingers glide over the keys. He was glad that while he didn’t remember a thing about his life, he still had this. Even just sitting behind a piano gave him a feeling of familiarity he missed with so many other mundane activities. He wouldn’t ever admit it to his zombie friend, if Liv could ever be qualified as such, but he had been lost on how to run his own business, how to use his own computer and his phone. He didn’t have any passwords, and with Don E sent away… He sighed. He figured it out, but it hadn’t been easy going through life completely blank. He liked his blank slate, surely, but it came with its drawbacks.
“Right…” The man’s eyes seemed to be lost in the song he was playing, and she could help but feel something tug at her heartstrings. Every time she saw him like this – vulnerable and almost normal – it became harder to remember who he really was. Blaine DeBeers was a murderer, a criminal. He had ruined not only her life, but the lives of countless people. He had tortured Major, almost killed him. He had done nothing to deserve her kindness. And yet… the man sitting beside her was a far cry from the self-serving, confident Blaine she had known. The Blaine who would never have taken the risk of dying, not for any money in the world, and certainly not because Ravi told him it was the right thing to do. Moreover, the Blaine she knew would want to remember.
“Is there anything you would want me to play?”
“What?”
“That is the question.” His eyes caught hers for a brief second, before he once again channelled his full attention to the sheet music in front of him. “Caught in my fears / Blinking back the tears / I can’t say you hurt me when you never let me near / And I never drew one response from you.” He allowed himself to stare at the beautiful woman at the bar once again, and he felt guilty for feeling angry. It wasn’t her fault that they happened to have a crappy night on the same day, but he could use her comfort now. Her hand on his shoulder. Her voice in his ears, telling him that he had a chance to start over, that what he did wouldn’t have to define him if he didn’t let it. He knew Peyton was wrong, of course. What he did would define him. He was a bloody murderer, and that wasn’t a coat he could just shake off and forget about, even if he had truly forgotten. No, in a couple of days it would perhaps have returned completely, and he would return to his murder and mayhem self. Wouldn’t Ravi just love that? Without granting the woman next to him another word, he got up and grabbed his coat, heading for the back door.
“Blaine! Blaine, wait!”
“What?”
His mouth was drawn in a snarl, and the man in front of her reminded her of the old Blain, of his anger. But as soon as the memory came, it disappeared. Blaine’s features softened, and if she didn’t know any better she’d think she heard him mutter an apology. “What are you running from?” If the situation was normal, this was where she’d make a joke. Something about his skeletons finally escaping from the closet to come and get him. But it wasn’t a normal situation, and Blaine appeared to be in genuine distress.
“I’m afraid, Liv…” he whispered. He closed his eyes and felt a cold hand on his shoulder, one that was all the same reassuring.
“Of what exactly? Remembering? Dying?”
He didn’t answer her question. She knew already. “I just don’t want to be alone when it happens. When I… Who knows what I’ll do?” A hint of panic coloured his voice.
Liv shook the man lightly. “Hey, there’s an easy way to fix that.” A soft smile played across her lips.
Blaine looked at her expectantly. He hoped, but she couldn’t possibly –
“I’ll stay with you tonight,” she said, her hand not wavering from his shoulder. “Lead the way.”
He chuckled, not willing to admit just how relieved he was. “It’s only a couple of minutes away.” As they walked, he let his hand slip into hers, and she didn’t pull away. He allowed himself to revel in the fact that there was at least someone who cared about him, even if it was not Don E, even if it was not his father. He could have friends in this world, and if maybe if he made up for his sins, if he worked hard enough… maybe this could be a first step.
“You have a great cd collection.” They were inside his apartment, and Liv was appreciating Chris Cornell’s glorious voice.
“Just you wait ‘til I show you all my vinyls.”
“Do you remember which music you liked before, or is that also gone? Did you just rediscover it through” – she gestured widely – “all this.”
Blaine shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess. I’d hear something and I’d remember liking it, but not why I liked it, or when I started liking it. I don’t think this was my prom song, though.”
“I can’t picture you going to prom at all.”
He handed Liv her drink and sat down on the couch, laying his head back against the pillows. “I don’t know what to picture at all anymore. If I should believe my father, I was a lying thief by the time I was eleven. I figure prom wouldn’t have been high on such a kid’s agenda.”
Liv sat down next to him, her eyes fixed on him while he stared at the carpet as if those fibres were hiding all the answers. “As far as I’ve understood, your dad is a bit of an asshole. You were eleven – just exactly how malicious could you have been at that age.”
Blaine buried his head in his hands. “I don’t know, Liv. I honestly don’t know. The guy murdering teenagers for money, for kicks? Couldn’t he have been a very malicious eleven-year-old.”
Liv’s complexion darkened a little, but she didn’t answer.
Then Blaine laughed. “I don’t know a lot, but I don’t think I’d ever have envisioned inviting you over anything like this.”
Her eyebrow shot up. “So you remember imagining inviting me over? Don’t get any ideas, DeBeers.”
He smiled, and let their legs rest against each other. “Thank you, Liv.”
There was no need to tell her what he was grateful for, and she gave his knee a soft push with hers. “That’s okay. You’re kind of part of Team Z too.” She bit her lip. “And hey, you may have been a malicious eleven-year-old for all I care, but at least you don’t own a bust of yourself.”
“You mean that –”
“Yep.” As she heard his innocent laughter and saw his relaxed features, she thought that maybe, just maybe, he would be okay.